Johnny Be Goode
by TwistedFan13
Summary: Spencer Hastings is a bright and intelligent young woman with a conservative upbringing. Her future glimmers with success, or at least that's what everyone expects of her. Her perfect feathers are ruffled when she realizes that this life may not be what she wants for herself. Egged on by a mysterious boy, Johnny, she explores a side of herself that she never knew exists.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Spoiler alert if you haven't watched the most recent episode** This takes place after 5x20 except with a few adjustments. 1. Assume that Spencer's mom didn't kick Johnny out. 2. Assume that Johnny and Spencer never kissed. That is all, hope you enjoy!**

Spencer plopped herself down on the living room sofa looking restless and defeated. Toby had not spoken to her since she bailed Johnny out of jail the other night. As if she and Toby's relationship wasn't already on the rocks, her involvement with "badass" Johnny gave him yet another reason to shut her out. She couldn't help but think that ever since Toby had become a cop, he'd become different – more cynical and judgmental. Spencer was going through a phase herself, one which involved seeking pleasure and rebellion. It was perfectly normal teenage behavior, she convinced herself, a rite of passage for some. All of a sudden she had this desire to defy her parents who had mapped her life out for her before she was conceived, and was anxious about going off to college. That is the only way she could explain that kind of behavior. She chuckled at the thought of her recent exploits. Just a few weeks ago she vandalized university property with Johnny, and then just yesterday acted as an accessory to theft – again, alongside Johnny. The guy, and the defiant person she became when she was around him were obviously just a result of stress. The pristine Spencer Hastings that everyone has grown to know and love – a genius by nature, somewhat of a prude by upbringing. She was in the running for valedictorian, and yet she was contemplating not going to college at all.

Just then, Spencer heard the screen door open and someone walked in from the kitchen. "Hey, how's it goin'?"

Spencer looked up and Johnny and rolled her eyes. "I don't really have time to talk. I'm kind of in the middle of something." She picked up a college application and pretended to be attentively filling it out.

"Okay, you're mad. That's understandable." He trailed off.

"Good, so you can go now." She didn't even bother to look up from the paper in front of her.

"Spencer, I'm really sorry about last night. I'll pay you back as soon as I can—"

"It' not about the money, Johnny," Spencer snapped. "It's about the principle. My reputation with Toby has been tarnished and I'm way off track with my academic plan."

"Okay, if that rent-a-cop thinks any less of you just because he thinks he's the next Harry Callahan, then he's an asshole."

Spencer tried to conceal the smile that instinctively swept across their face. "Easy with the swearing in my parents' house. They're respectable people"

"Are you?" Johnny asked.

Spencer chose to ignore the question. "What are you doing in here, Johnny?"

"Oh right, the mail came. I just thought I'd bring you your package." He handed Spencer a medium sized package.

"It's my prom dress!" Spencer jumped off of the sofa to retrieve it from him.

"Prom? Seriously?" Johnny teased. "Aww are you and Toby in the running for prom king and queen?"

"Um, no." She frowned "not really my thing, but I do respect the tradition." She snatched the package from his hand.

"Screw tradition. Tradition used to say it's okay to own human beings and kill homosexuals."

"And some traditions are harmless, fun even."

"Yeah, well prom is neither of those things, so I stand on my previous objection."

Spencer looked down at her phone. Toby had finally texted her. Johnny peeked over her shoulder to read the text:

_We can talk over lunch. I'll be at The Brew around 1:00._

"Ah, the boyfriend speaks." Johnny remarked condescendingly.

"I have go." Spencer moved past him without so much as taking a glance in his direction.

…

Spencer found her boyfriend sitting outside of The Brew.

"Hey," she walked over to him shyly, unsure about what he planned to say.

Toby looked up at her with his nearly transparent soft blue eyes. "I'm sorry for getting so angry last night," he started. "I've just been under so much stress at work. Being the new guy, I'm still trying to figure out the ropes."

"No, I get it. I shouldn't have been out that night with Johnny." Spencer looked down shamefully. "I uh, I'm going to stop talking to him…for the most part. I mean, beside awkward run-ins in the kitchen."

"Good," Toby smiled approvingly. "He's not a good influence on you."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Spencer shrugged off the remark although it seemed unfair that he was blaming Johnny for a decision she chose to make, of her own free-will. She decided to change the subject. "So, my prom dress came in today." She announced enthusiastically.

"That's great."

"It's a classic white and gold dress with subtle sequences. Totally old Hollywood."

"I can't wait to see you in it." Toby greeted her lips with a quick peck and then proceeded to get out of his seat.

"Wait, where are you going? I thought your lunch break was a full hour."

"Not today, I told Tanner I would look over some files."

"And it can't wait until after your 60 minute lunch break?"

"Yeah, I guess it could, but I just—" Toby looked slightly irritated.

"Go," Spencer said understandingly. "It's your first big job like this, so go. You should be there."

"Thank you for understanding. I love you," he kissed her on the cheek. "And I promise I will make it up to tonight." Toby winked.

Spencer forced herself to smile as he ran off. The moment he was gone, she sank into her chair. She was so proud of Toby's recent accomplishments, but it seemed like in the midst of it all he had forgotten who he was and furthermore, who she was to him.

"Spencer Hastings. Fancy seeing you here."

Spencer turned around to see a guy with slightly torn jeans wearing an unbuttoned plaid shirt with a graphic tee shirt underneath. "Johnny, please. Not now." She said, slightly vexed.

"Okay," he sat in silence for no more than 30 seconds. "Is now a good time for you?"

"Seriously?" Spencer stood up from her chair and started to walk off.

Johnny chased after her, "Okay, I get it. You're still angry with me."

"I'm not—I'm not angry with you. It's just, you can't keep showing up in my life trying to persuade me to partake in illegal activities, Johnny. I mean, I've known you for less than a month, and you've already gotten me on the front page for vandalism and nearly arrest for theft. I can't do those things Johnny, I have a life. I have plans for a future, and none of those things involve orange jumpsuits or probation."

"So you think I'm trouble?" Spencer didn't respond but her silence confirmed his suspicion. "You know what I think?" Johnny looked directly into her eyes as he inched his way nearly uncomfortably close to her. "When we were painting that mural, when you peeled off in the getaway van after we had just taken back what rightly belonged to us, you never felt more free and alive." He looked at her with such conviction. "You _like_ the thrill of not conforming to societal rules and the _danger _of possibly getting caught. You and I, Spencer Hastings, are more alike than you would like to admit to yourself. And _that's_ what scares you." He scanned her eyes for a response, his face so close to hers that she could feel his warm breath hit her flesh as he spoke. "You don't resent me for being a bad influence. No, you resent yourself because you know deep inside that you and I are kindred spirits."

Spencer just stood there, too stunned by his brazen audacity, to say anything. For once, she was completely speechless. Johnny's facial expression suddenly softened. "I'll uh, see you at home." He smiled and then proceeded to exit The Brew, leaving Spencer alone with her thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

_How dare he? — _Spencer was still reflecting on what Johnny said to her earlier that day. He had accused her of being like him – a nonconformist at heart, a rebel of nature. He knew nothing about her, nothing! She contended. Spencer could not deny one thing though. She did have a lot of fun painting the rooftop at Hollis and taking back what had been stolen from them at the museum, but that didn't make her a vandal and a thief. She blamed it on her parents, on Allison, on her more than dreadful high school experience – stalkers, murders. At one point she had been admitted into Radley, a sanitarium for the clinically unstable. If her moral compass had been distorted these factors must have greatly contributed, but she refused to believe that isolated from these circumstances, she was a person even remotely similar to Johnny. It was a phase, she reinforced it to herself, but that didn't explain why she felt more alive when she was participating in these ghastly activities with Johnny. She peeked out of the kitchen window and found him hauling things from the barn.

"What are you doing she yelled as she walked across the yard."

"Building a tent." He said simply.

"Yeah, I get that part, but why are you building a tent in my back yard?"

"_Your_ backyard? Woman, you are so possessive." Johnny teased as he continued to build the tent. "Would you mind giving me a hand with this?"

"Um-"Spencer remembered what she told Toby about how she would stop hanging around Johnny. "I shouldn't," she said weakly.

"You're probably right," he conceded, "but do it anyway if you want to." Johnny's smile taunted her. He had this habit of offering her a choice rather than trying to convince her to do what he wanted. This lack of rhetoric made his appeal even stronger.

Spencer hesitated before proceeding to pick up the deflated tent. "What are you doing this for anyway?" She asked curiously.

"Sometimes I like to get high at night and look up at the stars."

Spencer narrowed her eyes, trying to discern whether or not he was serious. "You brought drugs onto my parents' property?"

"Oh, so now it's _your parents'_ property," he noted. "Of course I didn't. There are no illegal drugs on the premises!" Johnny spoke louder than necessary. Spencer scrunched her eyes at him again, confused by his remarks. "Is your cop boyfriend around?" Johnny asked.

"Um, no? He's working late tonight."

"Okay good because there are definitely a few illegal drugs on the premises." He snickered.

"Johnny!" Spencer nudged him in the side.

"What? At least I'm honest about it. You've gotta give me something for that."

"You don't get brownie points for telling the truth." She said condescendingly.

Johnny just shrugged as he finished building the tent. "It'll be dark soon. Your mom's out, boyfriend's at work. Would you care to grace me with your company this evening, Spencer Hastings?" He offered her a joint.

Spencer looked down at the foreign object, hesitant at first. She took a moment to carefully weigh the potential consequences of her impending actions before conceding. "Why not? I'm already a suspected murderer and a vandal and a thief. Smoking one joint won't exactly tarnish my already bruised reputation."

"Now that's the spirit!" He said sarcastically and lit one up for her. Johnny pulled out a blanket to lie down on and Spencer laid down beside him.

As the sun went down, the moon and stars became more visible.

…

"So tell me about yourself, Spencer Hastings." Johnny always said her full name as if he were speaking to royalty.

"There's not much to know—"She reconsidered that statement, "okay, that was a lie." She laughed harder than necessary. "There is just way too much to know."

"By saying there's too much to know, you underestimate my capacity to understand. I just want to know who_ you_ think you are." Johnny took notice of how stunning Spencer looked under the moonlight. Her fair skin was ever-so luminescent and the light of the stars deflected against her deep, mesmerizing brown eyes as she stared up at the sky. Spencer had this breath-taking and ominous beauty that he was suddenly becoming more aware of.

"Does it really matter who _we think_ we are?" Spencer asked, her eyes fixed on the moon. "I mean, if it's true that all of life is a stage – like Erving Goffman suggested – and we modify our behavior according to the time and the people who are observing, then what really matters is our perception of what others think of us."

"If that were the case then we would all be robots programmed by our surroundings and our associations. That's mindless living."

"But is it bad to be mindless if it helps you to succeed in life?"

"I'd say so." Johnny reached for a bag of Doritos and refocused his attention toward the heavenly bodies above him. "Is there really success without happiness?"

Spencer fell quiet. She pondered what he had just said to her, but the thought did not linger long. She simply closed her eyes to take in the euphoric feeling of freedom of thought and choice. Freedom from expectations and reality. When they were alone, she felt freedom from pretending.

"Do you see that star to the left over there? Johnny was the first to break the silence. "That one's mine."

Spencer snickered, "you bought a star?"

"You can't purchase nature." He got a little defensive about her comment "I named it." His expression softened. "Accendo Vita."

"That's Latin," Spencer replied knowingly.

"It means 'illuminate life.'

Spencer wondered what significance of that star might mean to him, but she didn't ask.

Still Johnny continued. "Life isn't always sunshines and rainbows." His eyes met her gaze. "It can be really shitty sometimes."

"Tell me about it," Spencer nodded while reaching for a bag of marshmallows.

"Like when my sister died a couple of years ago." Johnny trailed off. His voice was humble and vulnerable. Spencer had never seen him that way before. She remained silent to see if he was going to open up more.

"She had gone missing for a while, and it was 'not within her character to run away,' they said. She was troubled in her most recent years, but she was my parents' golden child. They uh, kicked me out when I turned 17. I guess I was an omnipotent reminder of their failed parenthood." He remarked snidely.

Johnny continued, "When I look at the stars it reminds me that the world can be a very dark and evil place. The people you love, the ones who brought you into the world can just as easily leave you in it, alone. But nature, nature finds a way to bring balance, to light up the darkness, to illuminate life."

Johnny stared intimately at the sky. His words seemed to have flowed from his lips so effortlessly and unintentionally.

"That was really beautiful." Spencer could not think of anything more profound to say.

"Yeah, that's what happens when I get high as fuck. I get all deep and shit." He laughed along with her. "I might regret this tomorrow," he looked at her shyly.

"Don't." Spencer grabbed his hand. Johnny shuddered at her touch but by his expression remained calm.

For the rest of the night they engaged back and forth in conversation, topics ranging from their most embarrassing life experience to debating politics and international news. It was perhaps the most blissful, carefree moment that Spencer had ever experienced which was something that she never knew that she'd craved.

…

Johnny woke up the next morning in the tent which reeked of the faint smell of marijuana mixed with beef jerky and Doritos. He found Spencer's lying on top of him, her face buried in his chest. He had considered moving her off of him, but noticed how peacefully she was at rest. Johnny placed his hand on the small of her back and with his thumb, gently traced along her spine in slow, vertical motions. Johnny looked down at the woman lying next to him. She was so sweet and innocent-looking. He smiled to himself. Spencer had really surprised him. This conservative, privileged young woman had a side to her that was a wildly deviant. He wanted to see more of that side of her, but really he just wanted to see more of her. Johnny had yet to notice when Spencer's eyes opened.

"Are you…cuddling me?" Spencer asked awkwardly. Her raspy morning voice startled him.

"Uh...No!" he responded nervously and quickly slid his hand behind his neck. "I was an innocent victim." Johnny played it off, but he was slightly embarrassed. "I just woke up with this twenty-five ton boulder-of-a-head lying on my chest and nearly suffocated. I'm lucky to have made it alive" He smiled sheepishly.

Spencer just rolled her eyes and grinned as she stretched out her arms and started gathering her belongings. When she was finished, she directed her attention back at him. Johnny, who sat beside her, was gathering his belongings as well. He looked up only when she spoke.

"Hey," Spencer said as she casually placed her hand upon his knee. "Thank you for last night. I haven't had a really good conversation like that with anyone in a long time. I haven't laughed like that in an even longer time." She added softly.

"I'm just glad I could be there when you did." He smiled reassuringly placing his hand on top of hers."

Spencer looked down at his hand and frowned. When their eyes met, she looked like she wanted to say something but didn't.

"That was really cheesy, wasn't it?" Johnny said finally, noticing that she wasn't receptive of his gesture.

"Um, yes, but it's okay." They both laughed.

Spencer suddenly became aware of her morning breath, "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry." She covered her mouth with her hand. I didn't expect us to be sleeping together." Spencer quickly retracted her words. "Okay, that came out really weird, but you know what I meant."

"Classic Freudian slip." Johnny said, cheesing. "Deep down you wanna sleep with me." He licked his lips and raised his eyebrows teasingly.

"Oh please," she punched him in the side playfully, "You wish I wanted to sleep with you," Spencer joked.

"Yeah, I really do," She detected that Johnny was only half kidding.

Spencer cleared her throat to prevent awkward silence from taking over. "I should go. My _boyfriend_ and I are supposed to be going shopping for his tie." She stammered off before he could say anything else.

Johnny could have kicked himself for making his feelings so obvious. He knew she was unavailable and did not want to complicate her life any more than it already was. But he also knew he would live to regret it if he were to go his entire life without knowing whether or not Spencer Hastings had propensity to feel the same way about him.


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer stepped out of the shower feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. She wrapped a white towel around her thin frame and proceeded to her bedroom. On her bed she found her phone which she had not realized she had neglected all night. The flashing blue light indicated that she had a notification. Spencer frowned when she read the missed text messages:

Toby: Hey Spence, I get off at 11 if you still wanted to come over tonight.

Toby: I'm off work. You comin'?

"Crap!" She squealed. Throwing on a pair of old jeans and a sweater, she hurried over to Toby's house.

When she got there, Toby was looking at something on his computer. He looked up when Spencer walked through the door.

"Hey, I am so sorry about last night. I didn't have my phone-"

"It's okay," Toby said but she could hear how vexed he was in his voice. "I just know I've been busy a lot with work, and I wanted to make it up to you is all."

"I'm sorry. I really am."

"Where were you?" He asked sharply.

"I was uh-"Spencer muffled under her breath, "I was with Johnny." She looked down at her feet knowing that she was in for a treat.

"Johnny?" Toby laughed spitefully. "Of course you were with him!" He exploded with anger. "What did you guys get into this time, huh? Did you rob a bank? Terrorize old ladies at the park?"

"Toby," Spencer pleaded with him, "He's not a bad guy."

"Obviously you don't think so. You blew me off just to spend time with the delinquent."

"Oh you're going to lecture _me_ about blowing someone off?" Spencer calmed herself before she could say anything she would regret. She frustrated with herself, with Toby and life in general, but she simply did not have the will to argue. "Look at us," she softened her tone. "I don't wanna fight like this. Toby, I love _you_."

"I love you too," he uttered, trying hard not to be stubborn about the issue. "But I still don't want you to hang out with him." Spencer shuffled on her feet, clearly unreceptive of his demand.

Toby continued, "He's trying to ruin you, Spencer, and I'm not just saying that as a jealous boyfriend. I'm saying it as the person who knows you better than anyone else. Spencer, you are the reason I am where I am today. Remember when I dropped out of high school after the whole Allison thing? You encouraged me to get my GED, and you pushed me to study hard for it even though I had gotten far behind in my learning from being in juvie. You inspired me. You believed in me when I was working small odds and ends jobs as carpenter, and look where I am now. I'm at the beginning of my career. Your potential greatly exceeds mine. You can go to any college and fall into in profession you want and you will be successful. I'd hate to see you give that all up because you're confused and going through this phase you're in."

Spencer's entire face felt warm. These were the exact words that she needed to hear. "Thank you," she was nearly unable to get the words out without offsetting the tears. Toby reached out to embrace her. When the tears died down, Spencer pulled herself away.

"I uh, got a letter from Columbia a couple of weeks ago."

"Really?" Toby enthused. "Did you get in?"

"I don't know yet. I'm kind of afraid to open it."

Toby offered a comforting expression.

"I was thinking that since this is your day off and I totally spaced on our plans last night, I could cook dinner and we can open the letter together?"

"I'd like that." Toby smiled.

…

Spencer couldn't help feeling like her life was starting to fall back into place. She exhaled a breath of relief. In the back of her mind she knew that this life she was living, her ambitions – fueled by her parents or not – were what would bring her self-improvement and ultimately success. Happiness is in achievement. She danced around the kitchen gleefully as she prepared dinner for her and Toby.

Just then, Johnny walked into the kitchen to retrieve one of his TV dinners from the fridge. He looked over at the table which Spencer had decorated with romantic candles and rose petals. "Spencer, if you're trying to ask me out on a date, I'm flattered but the candles, kinda cheesy." He joked.

Spencer was in too great of a mood to allow Johnny Raymond to dampen her evening. "It's not for you, Johnny. It's for Toby." She replied simply as she began to set out the plates and utensils.

"Ah, the over-zealous mall cop." He snickered. Johnny threw his food into the microwave and then leaned his back against the kitchen counter where he watch her eagerly perfecting the table arrangements. She looked like a traditional 1950's housewife with her hair pulled back, styled perfectly in an updo – a white apron around her waist. Johnny couldn't help but smile because although her bliss seemed inauthentic, she was smiling and he lived for that smile of hers. When the timer on the microwave went off indicating his food was finished cooking, Johnny turned around to retrieve it. Instead he picked up envelope that was lying on the counter.

"What is this?" Johnny held up an unopened envelop and read the address aloud. "Columbia University," it said. "Wait, you're thinking about going to New York?"

"I applied. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'll get in."

"New York is a great place. There's so much history, art, culture and music. I was thinking about going back there myself."

"Oh, so you've been?" Spencer entertained the conversation. She figured run-ins like this were harmless. She did not want Johnny to feel out of place since he was practically living in her home, but she had every intention to keep her distance. She had made up her mind about what was important to her: her relationship and her future.

"Yeah, I lived there for a couple of months before I returned to this God-forsaken town called Rosewood."

"If you hate it so much then why did you come back?" Spencer asked inquisitively.

"Why does anyone come back to Rosewood?" He responded simply.

The doorbell rang which Johnny took as his cue to leave.

"I'll uh, just take this scrumptious gourmet meal with me," he said sarcastically and then read the box as he deposited it into the garbage, "Hungry Man" he mocked the label. As Johnny started out the back door, he caught a glimpse of Spencer meeting Toby at the front door. She kissed him slowly and passionately. Toby's strong comforting arms wrapped around her petite waist, and Johnny wanted nothing more than for those to be her lips on his. A wave of sadness flushed over his body when he realized that as much as he desired her, he would never be good enough for Spencer Hastings.

**A/N: So, let me know what you think of story so far! **

**-How do you feel about Johnny? Does he bring out the best or worst in Spencer?**

**-What about her relationship with Toby?**

**-Which one is the right one at this point in her life?**

**Hoping to get some feedback. **

**Xoxo**

**-TwistedFan13**


	4. Chapter 4

Johnny felt really stupid for being jealous over someone who was already in a relationship before he met her. He felt embarrassed for opening himself up to Spencer, even if just a little bit, because it was not something that he was accustomed to doing. He did not just fall for any girl who came around. And he knew how badly he sucked at relationships, but for her he was willing to try. It didn't matter though. He was a bad influence on her. Spencer had said so herself. Her life had purpose even if she didn't know what it was yet. She was still too good for him and so Johnny vowed to respectfully retreat, but only if he was certain that there was no chance – not even the slightest ounce of possibility – that she might be into him. And so despite his better judgment, Johnny marched back into the Hastings' home late that night.

Spencer was cleaning the dishes after an even with Toby. Her hair which was once perfectly intact, lay sloppily on her shoulder. Johnny did not bother to knock before barging in. "Oh my gosh, you startled me!" Spencer said laughing. She quickly observed the seriousness in Johnny's face, his jaw was tense and he was breathing heavily. "What's wrong?" Spencer furrowed her brow to offer her concern.

Johnny was slow to speak. He was unsure of what to say or how to say it, but he knew that if he started to think rationally then he would talk himself out of this, and that's not what he wanted. His heart knew one thing: Spencer Hastings was the one he desired and if he had to risk his pride and the possibility of getting rejected, it would be worth it just to know how she felt.

"I have to—"He tried to compose the words, but was simply unable to. Johnny's eyes scurried about the room as his mouth became dry and his heart eager. "Do you think you could ever—"The only thing that did not seem to be functioning at the moment was his brain. "Spencer, I—"

"Johnny, what? You're scaring me! Are you in some kind of trouble?" Spencer felt uneasy about the way he was acting.

Then out of nowhere Johnny grabbed her and with soft tender movements, their lips met in harmony. Spencer's eyes widened at first and then they fell shut. She grew paralyzed with guilt. Or was it pleasure? She was not sure. Johnny's thoughts just melted. His rationality, his pride, it all melted away as he stood shamelessly throwing his heart in the hands of Spencer Hastings. He slowly pulled himself away, taking a moment to just look at her. Spencer was stunned. He was surprised to see that the expression on her face was not one of reciprocating feelings. No, she seemed unusually comfortable. Spencer shook her head slowly.

"Johnny, I'm sorry if I—"

"I should go," he cut her off quickly as to save himself the embarrassment of being verbally rejected. Johnny bumped into the kitchen counter as he nervously headed for the door.

"Johnny, you don't have to," Spencer called out, but he was already gone.

"Dammit!" He cursed at the wind pulling a flask from his back pocket. It was his insurance policy just in case he royally screwed up – which he did. He blamed the cute little dress that Spencer was wearing and Toby showing up being all buff and perfect for her and shit. It wasn't fair.

Johnny started back toward the barn, but the thought of being alone and forced to encounter his thoughts was utterly intimidating. He did not want to think of the royal mess he'd made by kissing her and then having to go back basically living under the same roof as she. Johnny did not know where his legs would take him, but he just walked and walked aimlessly into the bitter moonlight allowing the hard alcohol to numb his mind.

…

It took a while for Spencer to come to grip with what just happened. "Did that really just happen?" She thought to herself. She was unsure how she felt; she was just taken by the moment. Spencer looked down at the acceptance letter in her hands and suddenly started to feel dirty about it, about life, about school, about her relationship with Toby. She just felt so uneasy about it all once again. She thought she could ignore the fact that those things made her anxious. She thought she could propel herself into this lifestyle that was chosen for her, and had every intention of doing it. _Why now? _She could have slapped that boy for putting her in this kind of position.

What would happen when they ran into each other tomorrow? What would she say to him? She thought about going out to the barn to clear things up but immediately ruled it as a bad idea. She knew that he flirted with her a lot, but never would have guessed he would make such a bold advance at her. Was this Johnny just being Johnny and screwing around, or could he have kissed her out of pure and honest feelings that he had?

There was just so much to think about. For instance, what would she tell Toby? Spencer died a little inside when she realized the totality of the circumstances. She had a _boyfriend_! A boyfriend whom she loved and who hated Johnny and basically told her to stay away from him. She and Toby were just finally starting to work things out in their presently tumultuous relationship. All that progress would be thrown out the window when he found out that Johnny kissed her and she didn't stop him. Spencer let out a loud sigh and pulled out the oldest bottle of red wine from her parents' win cooler. This was going to be a very long night.

**A/N: Sooo it happened! Spencer and Johnny kissed. I'm sorry my Spoby shippers, but I wouldn't go throwing the towel in yet. Obviously we're seeing some regret on both ends. **

**-What do you want to see happen?**

**-What do you expect to come?**

**Let me know your thoughts on the chapter! **


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's note: Trigger warning, this piece does contain domestic violence and some explicit language. **_

The taste of liquor was bitter on his tongue. Johnny hated himself when he indulged in it. It brought out a side of him that he tried desperately to contain. A side in him that was normally mellowed with marijuana and seven eleven slushies. Anger, depression, anxiety, all of these emotions seemed to be heightened when he delighted himself with a cold alcoholic beverage. And the more he drank, the more his problems seemed so real, so he drank more to forget, to self-medicate. It never worked. He was feeling anxious and incredibly awkward about how forward he had been with Spencer kissing her so abruptly when he knew she could never feel that way about him. He took a drink to get her off his mind, but a Spencer was not his problem. He wasn't just embarrassed about putting himself out there only to be rejected. He wasn't just heartbroken because she had a boyfriend who he felt didn't deserve her, but did because Toby had much more to offer a girl like her than he did. Everything that she stood for: wealth, intelligence, ambition, that's what pained him the most. She was an embodiment of everything he ever hoped for but would never have.

Johnny walked down a dark alley with no clear direction or idea of where he wanted to go. With the flask in one hand, he reached up to grab his throbbing temples with the other.

"_No, honey. Please don't be angry with me. I love you!" A woman uttered between sobs. "I love you. I'll be good to you. Please just don't leave us." The bruises on her body and the scars on her face, she wore proudly as she pleaded with him. "I'll get him under control," she said desperately. "I'll control Johnny he doesn't know any better. He's 12!"_

"_I don't care if he's 5 fucking years old! The boy needs his ass beat!"_

_Young Johnny peeked from the hall closet where he'd buried himself. He looked down at his wounded fist and clasped it tight as a form of protection."_

_The man pounded the woman against the wall so hard that back of her head began to bleed slightly. "Worthless piece of shit." He spat in her face. "Where is the worthless piece of shit?" He stepped away from the woman who fell to her knees in pain and started to pace around the house searching for his son._

_Johnny clasped his hand over his mouth so hard that his nails slightly pierced his skin. He then turned to his sister who was only 6. It's okay. He embraced us. He's not gonna hurt you. Shh." Johnny placed a finger up to his sister's lips. He instinctively shut the door slowly, but the creaking noise drew attention to him and his father marched over to his hiding place pouncing on the door. _

"_When are you gonna learn to mind your business, huh?" He yelled. "You think you're tough? Think you're a bad ass because he finally learned how to use your fists? Think you're a grown ass man now? Huh boy? Fight me like a man then! Fight me!" _

"_Albert, stop!" His wife groaned, still nursing her wounds. _

_He began to turn the knob, but Johnny gripped onto it with all the strength left within him. _

"_You're good for nothing. Piece of shit." The man was as a depraved dog foaming at the mouth. "You're never gonna amount to nothing!"_

_Johnny shudder, still clasping on to the doorknob. _

"_Nothing." He hollered once more before retreating. _

_When their father had gone, the two children scurried to their mother's aid. _

"_He hurt me, mommy!" The little girl cried._

"_You shouldn't let him do that to you…or us." Johnny said firmly._

"_Honey, go to start the water in the bath. I'll be up there to help you wash up." She said to the young one. With innocent blue eyes and delicate blonde hair in pig tails, the girl ran up the staircase. _

"_You shouldn't have provoked him, Jonathan."_

"_Provoked him? He hurt my sister, your daughter! How can you just stand there and defend him?" He turned his back to her._

_His mother called out, "you're going to be just like him if you don't learn to control yourself."_

_Johnny felt a tear lingering in the corner of his eye, but he repressed it, his back still facing her. _

"_He's given you everything, Johnny. He's given us everything we need." She was almost out of breath and too weak to be speaking to him. _

"_He hurt. Your daughter. And he beats you. The bastard needs to be behind bars!" He rose his voice at her trying so desperately to get her to see the truth._

_Johnny's mother looked in his direction, never at him directly with this dull spacey stare. He knew he had gotten to her, that things would be different. She couldn't possibly stand by her husband this time. Not this time, so much had happened. So she stared, not at him, but at the front door behind him. "Get out." She said weakly. _

_Johnny's softened expression morphed into confusion and anger. "What?"_

"_Get the hell out of my house, Jonathan," she said again. "Get out!"_

…

What the hell are you doing, Raymond? Get out! Come on, get out! You're gonna get us caught. The sound of sirens snapped him back into reality. He jumped out of matte black Mercedes Benz and took off down the alley along with some of his friends. His breaths were light and rapid as he dodged the police, praying that his legs would not fail him. He broke through the wind feeling so anxious, so fearful of what was behind him that he refused to allow it to catch up to him. When he and his old friends reached a safe place, away from the sirens and the police officers, they let out a collective sigh of relief.

While the others caught their breaths, one guy with a small frame wearing slouchy beanie and heavy clothing, burst into laughter. "Shit. We just stole a car." He fell back in hysteria.

"Correction, we forcefully borrowed to take it for a brief joy ride." Another added.

"Raymond, you almost get your ass caught! What were you daydreaming about?"

"Nothing, D." Derrick was the only one of the bunch that Johnny considered a friend. He was there for him in his worst times, and yeah they got in a lot of trouble together in their youth, but Derrick never ceased to see the good in him. They saw the good in one another, and despite the awful messes they found themselves in, had an unspoken understanding that this would not be their lives forever.

"Still thinking about that girl?" Derrick pulled him aside.

"No. "Johnny inhaled deeply and allowed all the breath within in him to flow from his body. "I'm actually not thinking about her for once." He tried to crack a smile through his misery. Weeks had passed since he had made a royal ass of himself in front of Spencer.

"Good. That's what I like to hear." They walked alone, abandoning the others. "Because it's been nice having you back, but I'm not about to watch you regress like this and ruin all the progress you made."

"Progress? I went to college for one semester then I became a bum artist with no actual career."

"You spent some time abroad."

"Only because I got in good with some hipster dropouts who used their Daddy's tuition money to travel to Europe instead and explore themselves. We spent 85% of that time high as fuck.

"But you found a passion…in art."

"Yeah, so?" Johnny shrugged it off.

"So pursue it."

"I've lost my touch, okay. I can't create anything without inspiration."

"You have all the inspiration you need. You're just avoiding it because she has a boyfriend."

"Who's a cop, I might add. If she knows all the shit I've done. Shit, what we just did! She's not going to want to be around me." He looked down on the ground kicking a rock that was in his path.

"I'm not suggesting that you get in between her and the rent-a-cop. I'm not even saying that you two are meant to be, hell you're not meant to be with her."

Johnny frowned confusion.

"You're not meant to be with her. You don't love her clearly or you wouldn't be here, but she inspires you. Let her be your muse. Let her lead you back to your creative consciousness and draw from every emotion she makes you feel. And when the painting is finished, get out. Leave. There's nothing left for you here."

Johnny contemplated, but what if I do fall for her as a person, not just my muse.

"Do you honestly think that she'll end up with you? Get what you need and get out of here, Johnny. Do what's best for you because in the end she will do what's best for herself also."

Johnny knew that it was true. This would never be a happily ever after with Spencer. No, time would always catch up to him and he would explode before their relationship blossomed. Maybe this was what he needed: to enchant her, play a cruel game of capture the heart just to take it back. He knew what he needed to do in order to make a future for himself. He would no longer be that boy who gripped the closet door for dear life. It was out of his hands how she felt about him. And how he felt about her, he was unsure, but he allowed the breeze to chill his soul. If he was to survive.


	6. Chapter 6

Spencer sat in the kitchen staring hopefully out through the screen door at the lonely barn. She was dressed for school in nothing fancy: an oversized knitted sweater and an old pair of snug jeans that she had worn earlier that week. Frankly she was in no mood to get all glammed up. It seemed meaningless to her. It was as if she and her friends went to school every day decked in the most elaborate fabrics and chic, perfectly put together outfits, but their lives were hell. They had been stalked relentlessly by a borderline psychotic person who taunted them with his or her anonymity, "A" the creep made sure to leave that signature mark. Spencer and her friends Aria, Hanna, and Emily and now Alison -who mysteriously rose from the dead had experienced death like no teenager should have to. Their lives were put at constant risk and the lies they told as a mode of survival. There was no coming back from the things they'd seen. The things they'd done. Spencer shut her eyes firmly in hopes that it would all just fade away. But she knew it wouldn't. She knew when she got to school there would another great threat or scandal posed by her anonymous stalker. She knew that no amount of makeup or beautiful garment could cover up how completely broken she was on the inside. She was just so over it: over the lies, over pretending that everything was fine. Like she could just pick up the pieces that had been falling for years. Like she could just resume her life as an over-achieving straight A student and waltz into an Ivy League school as if the past four years never happened. She had had forgotten how to be Spencer Hastings. All she knew was how to be the person that everyone needed her to be. Her cleverness and intelligence served one purpose anymore: to dig herself and her friends out of the graves that "A" built for them. She looked resentfully at the acceptance letter in her hand and then over to the clock on the microwave. It said 7:38. School started at 8:00.

She sighed a deep sigh and instinctively looked over toward the barn again. It was the morning after Johnny had messaged her mouth with his lips. She felt weird about it, and really conflicted because she had never met a person like Johnny, someone who brought out both the best and worst in her. She didn't allow the thought of him to linger long. Pulling her messy brown hair over her shoulder, she stood up and headed toward the door. She had had a class to attend. Spencer reached in her pocket to make sure she had her house key but found something different instead: a fresh unlit joint that she must have put there by accident that night she spent with Johnny getting high while taking in the beauty of the stars and the night. She wanted to feel that feeling again. That feeling she felt when she was with him that night. It was complete freedom.

Spencer held the joint up in her hand staring at it with equal temptation and disdain. The clock read 7:58. She would never make it to school on time, she reasoned and tardiness was simply unacceptable, so she guiltily dropped her backpack and headed for her room to be alone.

…

With the flick of the lighter, a fire burned in her like never before. Anxious, she slowly inched the joint toward her mouth, and hesitated only for a moment before allowing herself to let go. When she exhaled the clouds of smoke a sense of calmness settled her veins. She allowed herself to fall slowly onto her bed, feeling at ease, mindless, willfully lazy. School did not cross her mind once, nor did the thought pervasive thought of Columbia or the incredible mess of a life she was living. In that moment nothing mattered. She pressed the joint to her lips for another puff. As calm as she felt though, it was almost a bland emotionless feeling. It was not like before. Her body did not seem to levitate as it did the last time she partook in the mind-altering goodness. But she could not put a finger on why she still felt empty. Almost as immediately as the thoughts came to her, they rushed away. As a soothing wave of silence filled the room and the light died down, she slowly drifted to sleep.

…

The stars seemed abnormally large and connected in sense by the brilliant rays of color that extended between them all. The clouds were so close to the ground that Spencer reached out to grab one.

"What are you doing?" The boy who laid next to her nudged her on the side. "Who are you to try to disturb nature? I mean I know you're a _Hastings_ and all," he teased snottily, "but you're no goddess."

"You don't think I am a goddess?" She whipped her long brown hair flirtatiously to tease him. "That's refreshing actually. Everyone else sees me differently."

"I see _you_," he looked into the depths of her soul with those deep brown eyes beckoning her.

Spencer tried with all her might to stay cool but his lips were magnetic. She was eternally drawn to them. And so her eyelids, against her will, forced themselves closed. Closer and closer their faces inched towards one another. Closer, her heart leapt with anxious anticipation. And closer, she bit down on her lip softly. Their foreheads touched and Johnny rubbed his nose against hers. Spencer felt the warm air flee his nostrils. She parted her lips just slightly enough and he-

"Owoooo!" He began to howl abruptly like an animal.

Spencer pulled herself away suddenly. "Johnny, your face," she frowned. His face had morphed into that of a hairy, vicious monster as his eyes brown eyes changed into a piercing yellow.

"Owooo!" He barked again.

He rapidly transformed back to normal, but Spencer jumped up from fear of what she'd just witnessed.

"Spencer, "he pleaded softly, but she walked past him. "Spencer." He called out to her more firmly this time. "Spence!" She had already taken off running, her pulse racing against the speed of light.

She awoke from her dream to an angry Toby calling her name. 

"Spence!"

She jumped up from her bed feeling slightly paranoid. "What? No! No!" She shielded her eyes.

"Spencer, it's me." Toby walked over to where she stood, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Toby." She released a sigh of relief. "Wait, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Emily told me that you missed school today, so I thought I would check on you."

"I'm fine." She turned her back towards him in hopes that he did not detect her bloodshot eyes.

"Are you okay?" He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine Toby." She lied. "I just um needed some rest."

Toby patted her on the back. "Tell me what's going on with you Spence."

"Nothing," She was growing irritable.

"Okay," he said with a passive aggressive laugh. "You can stand there and lie to me, but won't even look me in the eyes!" He pulled her arm so that she'd face him.

"I smelled the weed when I walked into the room Spencer. I wasn't born yesterday!" He yelled, scanning her bloodshot eyes. "Are you seriously high right now? Are you kidding me?"

"I knew you would freak out. That's why I didn't say anything. Look, chill, I'm not high or anything. It was only one joint." She said plainly.

"Oh, it was _only_ one joint!" He mocked her. "As long as it was _only_ one joint. God forbid it's not like that crap is illegal or anything."

"Fine." She lifted her hands up as if to surrender. "File a report. Write me up for a misdemeanor. I don't fucking care right now." She spoke so nonchalantly, almost grinning it seemed.

"Well you should care!" Toby raised his voice louder than he ever had before. "You just got into an Ivy League college for Christ's sake. Stop acting like an idiot!"

The smug grin on her face faded, but Toby continued to holler. "What is this? You trying to rebel against mommy and daddy? You're pathetic! You're going to waste everything you worked for just so you can get high and sleep in all day like you haven't a care in the world." When he noticed the pain in her expression, he lowered his voice. "But I know you Spencer. I know that Columbia is everything that you've been hoping for. I know that you're scared or intimidated to be going to school with a bunch of brilliant and extremely driven Ivy Leaguers, especially after the year you've had. He pulled her into his chest. "But look at me," he said while caressing her cheek. "You are brilliant and beautiful and so hard-working. There is no doubt in my mind that Columbia is a perfect fit for you. You're going to do great. Don't worry." He embraced her with his warm arms.

"Yeah," let out weakly. "You uh. You're spot on Toby. I was just - nervous about all this. That's all." She forced herself to smile.

"And if I ever catching breaking the law again, I will pull the cop card," he joked. "Now come on. We'll go to the library and I'll help you study and get focused."

There was so much she wanted to say to him. She wanted to cry out and explain that he had it all wrong. She wanted to tell him that couldn't attend Columbia, not because she was scared, but because it was not what she wanted. She wanted nothing more than to tell him everything, but the words that left her lips were quite simple. "Thanks, Toby. You're so good to me."


	7. Author's Note

I love this story and I had really great plans for it, but honestly I feel like no one is reading it which bums me out but it's whatever. It was fun while it lasted and I may decide to reboot later, but for now I have decided to end the story here as I am working on multiple stories for the show Twisted (cancelled by ABC Family last year). If you'd like, head on over to the Twisted fanfiction section. I honestly connect better with the characters in that show and am subsequently able to create better fanfics for it.


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